


I Learnt That From The Pizza Man

by SexuallyAttractedToFanFiction



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, First Kiss, Humor, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Sorry Not Sorry, almost, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:36:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SexuallyAttractedToFanFiction/pseuds/SexuallyAttractedToFanFiction
Summary: Dean thinks he's funny, Cas has a differing opinion. After a particularly irritating joke, Cas finds a way to turn the tables.(What can I say? I just had to do something with 'that' line)





	I Learnt That From The Pizza Man

It had started out as an accident, a share button accidentally pressed, a drunk fumble to undo his mistake falling short of its intended target. He froze for several long moments, then quickly pulled the bed covers over his naked body on the off chance that Castiel would perform one of his obligatorily unwarranted appearances at the sight of the text. After a few loaded minutes spent waiting for the shit to hit the fan Dean shrugged, and reassured himself with the thought that in all likelihood the angel didn’t even know how to open the text, let alone the hyperlink.

The next time he saw Cas the perturbed look in the angel’s eyes seemed to belie Dean’s earlier assessment of the situation, a slight shift away from their usual intense focus on Dean’s face, a hint of a question that the angel clearly didn’t know how to voice. Oh, he’d seen the message. Dean’s lip twitched slightly at the discomfort he sensed there, but said nothing of it.

That night, with an uncharacteristically evil chuckle, Dean sent off another link, chugging whiskey and grinning to himself as he imagined the frown as the angel received the message, that composed face blushing as he saw what it contained, if in fact an angel could blush. Dean coughed and quickly moved his train of thought away from the details, far too easily conjured, of those impossibly blue eyes, the turn of his lips as he – Dean quickly clicked on a video and ignored the familiar lump that rose in his throat when he allowed himself to go there, to think too much.

He didn’t know why he continued to do it, keep sending the links to those videos, the inappropriate texts late at night when he’d drunk too much to hold himself back. He staunchly refused to see any deeper reasons for his actions, it was a joke, and nothing else. A joke he would never mention to Sammy, or discuss out loud when he came into contact with the angel. A totally normal hetero joke, and the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach every time he saw Cas squirm when they locked eyes were caused by stress, or hunger, or the sport of messing with the angel. That was all. Just a joke.

“Dean Winchester, this is not funny!”

Dean grinned at the phone and struggled to resist the urge to laugh.

“Something up Cas?”

“You know exactly what is up. The gardener is currently ‘up’ the frustrated housewife.”

Dean half choked on a mouthful of beer and spluttered a laugh.

“Stop sending me pornography Dean!” The panic in the angel’s voice only served to make Dean laugh harder.

“Or what?”

The words were barely out of Dean’s mouth when the angel appeared, far too close for Dean’s liking.

“Personal space dude!”

Dean stepped back but Cas matched his pace, something dark in his eyes that sent a tingle directly to Dean’s dick, a fact that he aggressively ignored.

“Do you _really_ believe that it is appropriate for _you_ to complain about boundaries after what you have put me through these past weeks?”

Dean gulped, suddenly unable to find his voice. He looked away from the angel’s piercing gaze. This whole situation now making him intensely uncomfortable. Cas reached out and roughly raised Dean’s chin, holding it in place until Dean reluctantly locked eyes with him.

“I am an angel of the lord, you should show me some respect.”

Dean didn’t realise he was still inching away until the back of his legs hit the bed, and he found himself pinned, between it, and the firm body of the angel. His breaths came fast and shallow, Cas simply staring him down for what felt like an eternity. Then Cas closed what little space there was between them, and kissed Dean insistently. Dean found his lips moving against his will, until the fog in his mind cleared, and he pushed the angel away.

“What the hell Cas?”

Cas shrugged in an all too familiar gesture, his head cocked to one side, assessing Dean’s reactions.

“I learnt that from the pizza man.” He said evenly.

Dean stared, open mouthed, at the angel. Then burst out laughing, almost doubling over in hysterics at the bizarre turn the night had taken.

“Do not laugh at me Dean, I am quite sincere.”

If he had been anyone else Dean might have been convinced, but there was a slight twinkle in the angel’s eyes that showed Dean all too clearly that he knew exactly what he was doing. Dean didn’t stop laughing, until the powerful arms of the angel pushed him down on the bed. Dean gasped, but was soon incapable of words, or even sound, as the angel punched the air out of his lungs with a series of bites and kisses down his neck. Dean put up a token struggle, but a groan escaped his lips, making any protestations of his enjoyment an obvious lie.

The angel paused the assault and pulled back slightly. Dean tried to yank him back by the lapels of his trench coat, desperately seeking to renew the sensations coursing through his veins, but the angel didn’t budge an inch. The smirk on Cas’ face was clear now, predatory.

“I learnt that from the babysitter.” Rather than eliciting a laugh from Dean, this time the resulting sound was more like a whimper, that was quickly cut off as Cas lowered himself down against his body, thigh rubbing against Dean’s raging hard-on through way too many layers of fabric.

“You know... you’re... Jesus, Cas... you’re not exactly encouraging me to _stop_ sending you porn.” Dean panted, little whines escaping between words as Cas teased him with far more skill than an angel of the lord should possess in that department.

Cas stood up and began pulling off his clothes, something wicked in his expression as he did so. Dean tried to slow his breathing, with no success.

“You may have a point, but then, I am yet to show you what I learnt from the plumber.”

Dean didn’t take long to remember _that_ particular video, and a delicious shiver wracked its way through his body.

“Fuck, Cas, I just remembered you’re related to the devil.”

Cas made quick work of removing Dean’s clothes, flinging them to the floor.

“That was an exceptionally unwise thing to forget, but I am certain that I will be able to find a way to ensure that it does not escape your memory for a second time.”

Dean groaned. He was sure that this night would be seared into his memory as surely as the handprint was emblazoned on his shoulder, and, he quickly realised, he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
